More important that “what” we fight about is “how” we fight. Sixty-seven percent of issues are perpetual problems that will never be resolved. Learning to fight fair and respectfully will create a loving environment in which communication and discussion is encouraged and growth and understanding are fostered. The #1 thing women can do is soften their start-up. A gentle approach is much more conducive to opening conversation than a harsh start-up. The #1 thing a man can do is accept influence from his partner, no you don’t know everything. Building a 5:1 ratio of positives to negatives even during conflict is crucial and eliminating the “Four Horsemen” from your interaction will dramatically reduce the probability of divorce.